Why should I be haunted? Yet, how chilling…. The ghosts that Fraiberg refers to are the kind that are unseen, tormented, and tormenting. They often manifest as symptoms, deep emotional wounds, and broken relationships. Sometimes, the symptoms and problems are experienced immediately in the form of children acting out, or tension in the home.
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Why should I be haunted? Yet, how chilling…. The ghosts that Fraiberg refers to are the kind that are unseen, tormented, and tormenting. They often manifest as symptoms, deep emotional wounds, and broken relationships.
Sometimes, the symptoms and problems are experienced immediately in the form of children acting out, or tension in the home. Other times, these symptoms come out only years later in the form of a relentless depression, anxiety, or an eating disorder through adulthood. Where do these ghosts come from? Sometimes it can be great great grandfathers and great great grandmothers too. They represent the voices of the past. According to the article, they are usually, the abusive voices.
Theirs are the voices of ghosts that linger, and haunt, and continue the inter-generational transmission of past trauma. In the above mentioned paper, the thesis and conclusion are clear. The authors suggest that many people experience pain or difficulty during childhood, but not all parents inflict that same pain on their children.
What distinguishes those that do repeat the past trauma from those that make a conscious effort not to repeat the pain of the past? The authors emphasize the importance of remembering the pain. The article reviews two case studies. In this case, Mrs. March cannot give her daughter Mary affection. She is emotionally cut off from her, and preoccupied with the thought of abandoning her, and giving her up for adoption. She is also focused on the possibility that her husband is not the biological father of Mary.
Both of these preoccupations represent obsessions with the past, as Mrs. March herself was abandoned by her mother, and has a family history of promiscuity. Her unconscious is fixated on the conflicts and dilemmas of past adult figures, and she is repeating their experience identifying with the aggressor rather than identifying with the victimized child in the situation.
It is moving, and the empathy for the patients seeps through the words. That is the crux of therapy, to remember. However, I think it is worth pointing out that in general childhood is hard to remember, ghosts abound, and many of us repeat.
Childhood is such a distant past for us all. Childhood has nooks, and crannies, and crevices; ghosts, and angels, and wolves, and elves. It has textures rough, gooey, soft, prickly , and sounds caustic, soothing, perplexing , and smells familiar and curious. Who can possibly remember all of those? Hugging my child brings back the hugs of the past, or the lack of hugging.
Seeing my child struggle brings back how my parents dealt with my struggles, or how they criticized rather than helped. Seeing my kids relate to one another brings back previously forgotten fights with my brother, and how my parents created amity between us or enhanced the hostility. But the ghosts are sometimes friendly ghosts, not just the kind that haunt and torment! Even when we are not traumatized by the past, it inhabits us and speaks through us, for better or for worse.
If our ghosts are more of the sadistic variety rather than a friendly crew it becomes especially important to turn on the lights, and stare the ghosts straight into their core PAIN…the pain that they harbor and the pain they inflict. That is what therapy is for: turning on the lights so that we can at least see what we are contending with.
What is your experience with ghosts in the nursery? How does your past the good, bad, and the ugly affect you in the present? How does it influence how you parent? Ghosts in the nursery. A psychoanalytic approach to the problems of impaired infant-mother relationships. To read full text article click here For other Work by Selma Fraiberg:.
Ghosts in The Nursery: How the Past Affects the Present
Akikazahn According to the article, they are usually, the abusive voices. She is also focused on the possibility that her husband is not the biological father of Mary. The function is helping the subject leave their ghosts behind and continue moving forward with their life. At the time of her death, Selma Fraiberg was a professor of child psychoanalysis at the University of California, San Francisco and a clinician who devoted her career to helping troubled children. It has textures rough, gooey, soft, pricklyand sounds caustic, soothing, perplexingand smells familiar and curious. March cannot give her daughter Mary affection.